by Wang Ming Tao
(with minor edits and additions by Pastor)

We should regard marriage as great as life and death. Then we will not
talk easily about love and engagement.

Marriage must be carefully considered: the opposite side must be
scrutinised, and the opinions of elders, teachers and friends sought. You
can do no less. The more important is, “Commit thy way unto the
LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” (Ps. 37:5)
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own
understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct
thy paths.” (Prov. 3:5-6)

See clearly that marriage is not a moment’s blessing and happiness. It is
a lifetime’s blessing or curse, success or failure.

When considering marriage, to put good looks, money, property, power
as priority, will most likely result in pain, failure and regret.

When a Christian gets engaged, he should consider good character,
knowledge, health, talent, and above all, the faith. Devout and God-
loving young men and women must seek a devout, God-loving partner.

Else, let them remain single and save themselves from sorrows.

Marriages that are contracted through beautiful clothes and sweet
cosmetics, the cinema and cabaret, theatre and restaurant etc., is folly
and will land in a lifetime of sorrows. You run the risk of a future

A girl must never marry a heartless divorcee who has discarded his
wife. Neither can a man marry a woman who has left her husband. Such
persons who either discard wife-of-youth or leave husband, will have
no compunction to abandon you in future.

Girls with meticulous make-up and a flair for socialising are the desire
of many young men. But few from such a bevy can fill the role of a
virtuous wife and helpmate to the husband.

Do not rush into an engagement. Often I’ve observed how when an
irreverent young man or woman loves one who loves the Lord, he or she
would wear a mask of reverence. Should one react hastily without patient
observation, mistaking him or her to be a devout Christian and enter
marriage, one would see the true colours (too late). Imagine the sorrows
and great loss consequent to such a decision. The mask of deceit had
worked for a season, but would surely be exposed in the end. If young
Christians could quietly wait on the Lord before getting engaged and to
further seek the Lord’s guidance, they would not fall into the pit.

Should that young man or woman who desires to be engaged to you meet
one who is more handsome (or prettier) than you, and leave you, you
should not feel hurt or be in despair, but rather rejoice and thank God for
deliverance from future danger and sorrow. Such a lustful and covetous
person can never become your life-partner. Good that she or he had left
you in advance that you might not suffer heavier losses. Had you gotten
engaged and married, the consequences thereafter could result in untold
tragedy. The sorrows you go through would be unimaginable.

When an unmarried couple is uncertain of a resultant marriage, then they
should cut down on going out together. For should they fall deeper in love
without the possibility of marriage, they would end up in misery.
Do not fall in love easily with the opposite sex. This is like weaving your
own cocoon and tying yourself up.

When a married man or married woman falls for another of the opposite
sex, it is adultery in the eyes of God.

When a married man falls for a woman who is more charming than his
wife and deals falsely with his spouse, yea, even taking steps to discard
her, and marrying the new girl, how would his wife-of-youth feel? Will
she not be broken-hearted? Whether she is dead or alive, he would be
quite nonchalant. Let them hear God’s Word – “For the LORD, the God
of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence
with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your
spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.” (Mal. 2:16) Sooner or later, God
will requite with His justice towards such a ruthless and selfish person.

Whether or not men would listen to what I say, I must declare loudly the
teachings of Jesus Christ. “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put
away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another,
committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth
commit adultery.” (Matt. 19:9)

Some Christians whose marriages were contracted by their parents may be
troubled in many things thereby. Their unbelieving spouses may seek
divorce, but Christians in obeying God will pity their ignorant spouses
and will dismiss any thoughts of divorce and remarriage, in order not to
be a stumbling block to others. No doubt they would be sorely tried at
home, and their happiness curtailed. Nevertheless, when they stand before
God in future, they would surely be rewarded for their love for God and

To maintain lasting affection between man and wife and happiness in the
home, there are three most important things. First is mutual love. Second
is mutual respect. But before these two, the one of paramount importance
is fearing God together.

Pastor’s Note:
Read Genesis 24 concerning God’s Cooperative Will with regards to
finding a wife for Isaac. What lessons can we learn from that passage?
For those who are married, meditate on Proverbs 5:18 – “Let thy
fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.